Enjoy the Quiet

I wrote this a few months ago, and while finding posts to publish I came across it – I am busy right now, yet my words from a few months ago helped me find perspective for today. I hope it helps you too!

“The last few days, my life has been quiet. We got a cold, and we’ve been relaxing – canceled appointments, sitting on the couch – doing nothing (in my own mind). Then, a couple days ago, I realized I wasn’t motivated for the day! I wasn’t excited! I had a few things I was excited about, but even then I wasn’t as excited as I “should” have been. “Am I depressed??” I was thinking, since lately I’ve had mental difficulties. “Is it the anti-anxiety meds??” I also thought – knowing that anti-anxiety meds cause numbness in me. 

I got to thinking, though, this morning, as I’m sitting here trying to solve the problem and “fix myself”. My problem is this: I can’t enjoy the quiet. 

Adrenaline, thrill, worry, anxiety – they’re all from the Devil in several ways. No, I’m not talking about ordinary adrenaline like being excited or exercising, or intimacy. I’m talking about the “striving after wind” that the Preacher talks about in Ecclesiastes. Always looking for something else – something else to do, something else to worry about, places to be, things to do. I always pictured that person to be our old college friends who never caught a break – they partied all day and all night, not finding a solid job, not knowing how to “sit still”. 

Yet here I am – I have no plans, my job is quiet, my home is taken care of, we are provided for. We have nothing to “worry” about. I don’t have daunting sin in my life anymore, which that in and of itself is adrenaline – even deciding to say no causes adrenaline, I’ve found, since it’s a challenge. Life is merely going through its own cycle – you wake up, you take care of things, you find joy in the little things, and you simply go to sleep again. 

No wonder I thought something was wrong with myself! I was right! But the wrongness wasn’t the lack of excitement, it was the lack of contentment. I’m that college friend, always seeking after the next rush! When God gives you peace, that doesn’t mean he’s going to give you constant battles to fight, adrenaline rushes, drama, plans – all of those things are earthly, and it is so easy to get caught up in them. 

There will be days when you’re busy, and all you need to do is catch a break. God gives those days to, in order to remind you what’s really important. There will be days when you have what feels like “nothing” – God gives those days to, to remind you to be content. 

Worrying is addicting. Being busy is addicting. Both of those things can distract you from the fact that this world is just an endless cycle, its not our home, and there’s a purpose in your life, outside of being busy. 

So, enjoy the quiet.”