Tips for “Living” in a Hospital – For Caregivers

The big events, the unexpected and shocking events, are the ones where we need help the most. Yet typically, you’re in a hospital – you couldn’t pack, process, or prepare – and yet here you are, in the Intensive Care Unit – and you’ll be here for who knows how long. I’ve been there – and I’m hoping to provide some help in getting through it, so that you can try and remain mentally and emotionally stable for your loved ones. 

Drink Water

Drinking water is one of those things we forget or don’t have the capacity to do in a hospital situation. Our child may be on deaths door – the last thing we think about is drinking water! So here are a few tips for you to help remember to keep yourself hydrated:

• Buy a reusable water bottle or reuse a plastic water bottle supplied by the hospital 
• Every time you eat something, drink 8 oz of water 
• First thing in the morning, drink 8 oz of water
• Before you go to bed, drink 8 oz of water

You can even set reminders on your phone if you want to – every ounce counts. Drinking water will help muscle cramps that are bound to happen while you’re lying low in a hospital room – and it’ll help your mind think clearly especially when you’ll be drinking a lot of caffeine. 

Set Aside 5 Minutes for Your Favorite Music

In the hospital we’re surrounded by beeping, medical talk, children crying, you name it. Music seems like it doesn’t exist anymore. It can be those quiet gaps of time that help recenter and ground you – even listening to one song in the bathroom with the door closed, closing your eyes and singing along, can help get you from a triggered intense state to a calm, vulnerable one. If it’s a sad song, perhaps it’ll help you cry for 5 minutes – something that can be difficult to do if you’ve been in a hospital for quite a while. Take 5 minutes to process, sing, listen, and heal. 

Stretch

Little stretches like quad stretches, shoulder stretches, and neck stretches can help significantly with muscle aches and pains. When you’re sitting, sciatic nerve pain can become worse, or your legs will start to feel numb. While a procedure is happening or while your child’s vitals are being taken, lean against the bed for balance and do some light stretches. Perhaps do it first thing when you wake up or do it while you listen to that 5-minute song! A few seconds of self-care can go a long way. 

Look at the Time and Date

This is a weird one! But those of you who are in the hospital will get it. Look at the time, write it out, tell yourself if its morning or night. In hospital rooms typically it’s hard to know if its morning or night, and in intense situations we lose track of days and hours. Look at the time – think about what you’d be doing if you weren’t in the hospital (if those triggers emotions, let it happen – cry it out if you need to) and remember that there is a life out there – you’re not in the Twilight zone – and this phase is going to end. Look at the time and date. 

Make a To Do List

For some people this may not work, and I totally get it. For me, being a Type A person, checking off something from a list gives me some sort of small relief. It helps me feel like I’m doing something. A hospital to-do list could look something like this: 

1. Brush teeth
2. Do a stretch
3. Listen to a song
4. Attend rounds (if your hospital allows that)
5. Organize bed space 
6. Eat 
7. Write down the doctor’s name that’s taking care of your child 
8. Write down Nurses name 
9. Take a walk 
10. Do something like you would at home 

Sometimes things like this keep you grounded – they help you feel like you’re still the same person. They help you get in touch with the self that doesn’t have a child in the hospital. It reminds you that certain things are still real and OK – your life isn’t failing or ending, there are big things you can hold onto. 

Talk to Someone about Something Other than Your Situation 

It’s important to realize that you’re in a bubble but life is still happening outside. This can be a really difficult thing to grasp, it’ll cause a lot of emotions, and some people talking to you about these things can feel hurtful and trite. But, try and be engaged in a conversation that is not “How is your child doing?” Talk about the weather – literally. Talk about that tv show they’re watching and what happened with your favorite character. Talk about the sermon you missed on Sunday or who else is sick at church so you can pray for them. Take yourself out of the bubble for a second, and it helps to keep you grounded. 

You’re Not Alone

If you’re in the hospital right now with your loved one, know you’re not alone. If they don’t know what’s wrong with your child, if you can’t keep track of time, or feel like time doesn’t exist anymore – you’re not alone. Some of us know exactly what you’re feeling, and we’re right here with you. No matter how it ends, there is a God, and He will do what is best – no matter what.